Alaafin’s daughter set for holy matrimony as monarch stresses importance of family

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Yoruba culture is not static. At the same time, every generation tries to preserve aspects of the indigenous tradition. 
This effort is counterbalanced by the pragmatic desire of the Yoruba to appropriate change in the garb of tradition. 
The dialectical relationship between the unchanging aspects of Yoruba culture and the dynamics of change are fueled by two sources of human interaction.
 The first source of change pertains to the new conflicts in human interaction that cannot be explained by Yoruba tradition. 
The second is the permanent effect of contact with Islam and the West, expressed in such institutions as law, marriage, religion, education, and public health services.
 Yoruba marriage forms have been influenced by Christian and Muslim marriage practices in all the three phases even as the steps to Yoruba marriage project a decidedly traditional outer form.
 In marriages in contemporary Yoruba society, the modernized Yoruba cling tenaciously to this outer form as a proof of loyalty to the original culture.
For a man or a woman who has reached the age of marriage to remain single is against the mores of the Yoruba. 
Men get married even when they are sexually impotent in order to save either their faces or the faces of their immediate relatives, as well as to get one to look after their domestic establishment. 
There are a few cases of confirmed bachelors; men, who have reached middle age without getting married even though they are in position to do so. 
But they are a product of modern times with its individualism. 
The ability to satisfy the hierarchy of human needs was critical to the Yoruba evaluation of the spouses’ readiness to be united in marriage. 
The test of the level to which one has internalized a sense of belonging and self-esteem is manifest in the desire to excel and find self-fulfillment in the service of the family. 
To ensure that the spouses have the requisite level of the skills that will enable their family to find its own balance, an elaborate system of calibrated steps and activities tests the endurance of the spouses. 
These steps reiterate the fact that the selection of the spouse is a communal affair that involves several symbolic steps.
Thus, it is the man who formalizes his desire to proceed to the next level of courtship by visiting the house of the spouse-to-be. 
It is the man who pays his prospective to Isihun—payment to release the voice of the female so that the couple can talk with one another (eesee Ishihun).
 It is the suitor’s male relations who take the initiative to institutionalize the marriage by first going to ask for the hand of the spouse. 
The suitor’s male relations plan for the ceremony that creates a bond between the two families. 
Finally, the spouse is transferred from one group of patri-lineal kin to another.
However, penultimate Saturday was colourful in Oyo when the family of Alhaji Hakeem Folarin [groom] besieged the ancient palace  for creation of the affinal bond (Idana) with Princess Rukayat Adeyemi [bride] and daughter of His Imperial Majesty, the Alaafin of Oyo, Oba Lamidi Olayiwola Adeyemi 111.
 In his address after the affinal bond programme attended by the bride’s mother, Ayaba Mujidat,  and all the Ayabas [monarch’s wives] led by  Ayaba Ramat, Oba Adeyemi said ideally, marriage should establish the foundation of the family. 
‘’When it does, marriage is a union not only of the two spouses, but the two extended families to which they belong. Marriage itself is the proof that both spouses are good products and ambassadors of their families. By successfully going through the demanding steps to the Yoruba marriage, the spouses are a good reflection on the quality of character of their families’’. 
The paramount ruler explained that the couples have shown restraint as people who are well brought up, focused, enduring, reliable, disciplined, and people who are able to defer gratification until they are ready for the responsibilities of adulthood. 
As the Yoruba say, “It is easy to get married; what is difficult is to provide daily food for the family” (Ati gbeyawo, kokere; owo obe lo soro). In other words, the ability to satisfy the hierarchy of human needs was critical to the Yoruba evaluation of the spouses’ readiness to be united in marriage’’. 
Oba Adeyemi further asserted that the couples ought to be able to provide food and shelter and safety, adding that they ought to have the level of commitment and patience needed to inculcate a sense of belonging and self-esteem in their children. 
Said he, ‘’the test of the level to which one has internalized a sense of belonging and self-esteem is manifest in the desire to excel and find self-fulfillment in the service of the family. When the young adult male is between twenty three and twenty-eight years of age and the female is between eighteen and twenty-five, they are both expected to be identifying potential spouses.At this time, the male is expected to have acquired skills that will allow him to provide for his family.
‘’The Yoruba socialization ensures that the daughter learns, from the age of seven, to serve as a little mother and child-caregiver to her younger siblings. M my daughter [Princess Adeteju] had Master’s Degree after her First Degree in Mass Communication from a reputable university in Nigeria, like her brothers and sisters. She has been obedient daughter and keeps herself away from anti-social behaviours’’.
By the time she is preparing for marriage, the paramount ruler pointed out that his daughter must have learnt some of the preliminary skills she would need to be a wife and mother .
According to him, ’’the family is the most sacred and significant institution to the Yoruba, who are child-centered, ruled by the elderly, and controlled by adults. The family is an effective unit of political control, religious affiliation, resource allocation, and assurance of safety. It is also the most effective agent of socialization. The family teaches the first lessons in discipline, personal gratitude, and affection. The family is where young people are exposed to their first preferences and prejudices. In the family, the lessons in honor and shame are learned, just as are the first lessons in dissembling to avoid the truth that may injure the well-being of the community’’.
‘’More poignantly, it is in and through the copious lessons in religious symbolism learned in the family that one comes to understand the cyclical and connected way of life in the here and now, the future, and the hereafter’’.
Meanwhile, nine days after delivery of female twin babies,  another wife of the Alaafin has given birth to male twin babies. 
Ayaba Memunat Omowumi Adeyemi Omoh 1 was the first to deliver the female twin babies, while the naming ceremony took place on Sunday. 
About 11am on Monday, information reached the ancient palace that another wife, Ayaba Badirat Olaitan Adeyemi Ola  1, also gave birth to male twin babies. 
Ayaba Badirat delivered the twins at a private hospital in the town. 
Joy, however, knew no bounds to cross section of residents,  including palace aides,  friends and relations who besieged the palace in torrents to felicitate with the royal father over what they referred to as “wonderful gifts” from God.

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