*Survival Strategies For Single Women
If you’re a woman who is single or you are a single mother, this piece is for you.Of course, single guys would find it profitable as well.
It may not be your fault that you are a widow,or that you’re of marriage age but suitors aren’t coming your way.
You don’t have to knock your head against the wall because guys are pushing back and not willing to take the plunge and seek your hand in marriage for various reasons.
My admonition here is to look at yourself in the mirror and tell the woman staring at you some bitter truths. You’re not alone, certainly not the only one facing this predicament. Many women are single and searching, spending many lonely nights alone in bed, thinking and asking what crime they committed for being ignored by qualified suitors .It’s a global phenomenon.
The truth is that, most eligible bachelors and bachelorettes are not single by choice .Circumstances force it on them.There are several constraints to marriage,many of them economic and some traditional strongholds that customes imposed on youths,such as high bride price, resentment of inter-ethnic and inter-racial marriages, and several other artificial barriers. We shall deal with these issues in another article, God willing.
Our concern here today is how single women could survive and get married in a harsh socio-economic environment without compromising their dignity and integrity.
The first thing to realise is that, being single is not a sin, crime or a factor that makes a woman less important in society. It certainly doesn’t, in any way, degrade your humanity,self esteem, personality or standing in society, regardless of what others think.
It’s certainly very good and appropriate to get married,if a woman could get the right partner. Getting the right partner, who’s willing, prepared and ready to settle down with you, in love and all sincerity,should be the ultimate consideration for any successful conjugal union.
You can quote me on this: marriage should be mutually desired by both parties, and no one party should think they are doing the other a favour by getting married to them.
In other words, marriage shouldn’t be transactional,a do-or-die affair,or an escape from poverty or peer pressure to get married because it’s fashionable, appropriate and a qualification to gain respect in the larger society.
To get married, women should prepare,even more than men,to face the rigours of domestic bills, cohabitation with a new partner, and the challenges of child bearing, in-law interference, management of differences,etc.There are several inevitable hidden factors that would come up unexpectedly in marriage. So,a woman should prepare for these.
For me,any woman who knows her onions should be financially independent before stepping into marriage, because money is difficult to earn, and is the greatest challenge most couples face nowadays,in a society that is driven by ego and where a person’s worth is measured by their level of financial status.No realistic woman should expect to perch on a man, expecting him to be the sole bread winner in today’s economic environment. A woman should supplement, and not deplete her husband’s finances,if she’s expecting to find it relatively easy in Let’s stop here today.
*Ladi Ayodeji, marriage counselor, author, media expert and philosopher, can be reached on 09059243004, WhatsApp only, please.
