My husband left because I refused to give him oral sex, wife tells court

A 42-year-old woman, Fausat Ayinde, on Thursday, approached a Lagos Island Customary Court for the dissolution of her 15-year-old marriage on grounds of emotional abuse.
Fausat told the court that her husband deserted her because she refused him oral sex, adding that he made her feel inferior  because of his complaints and verbal abuse.
The fruit seller said that their marital problems started five years ago when her interior decorator husband came back from a trip to Port Harcourt and asked her to suck his genital.
“My husband got back from a trip and asked me to suck him, something we have never done since we got married.
“When I refused, he told me that is what other girls do to him outside, since then my husband stopped making love to me,’’ she said.
The mother of two said that her husband also started complaining about her dress sense and her cooking.
She added that he packed out of the matrimonial home three years ago and rented another apartment two houses from her with another woman.
Fausat said that her husband came to her house on November 8 to beat her up and pack out her belongings.
“I am tired of the marriage; I have reported him to his family countless times but he has refused to change.
“Since he left, I have been the one responsible for the upkeep of the children,” she said.
She prayed the court to dissolve the marriage, give her custody of their children Ahmeed 15, and Ahmeedat 12, adding that the husband should be responsible for their upkeep.
The husband, Lukman Ayinde, 45, told the court that the genesis of their marital problems was not sexual.
Lukman said that the basis of their issues was that his wife did  not know how to take care of herself, her home, her man and children.
He said that on many occasions, he had tried to upgrade her to his taste by buying her dresses, shoes and bags.
He said that his wife was also very stubborn and had refused to change, adding, “she dresses awkwardly and is  unattractive’’.
“I have complained about her dress sense severally, my wife can wear mismatched top and skirt with dirty flip flop slippers to anywhere.
“When I complain, she will say who is looking at her forgetting that I am her husband, I am looking, I cannot control her.
“I cannot introduce her as my wife to my colleagues, she sells in Victoria Island, Kofo Abayomi and she meets notable people but she has refused to package herself.
“She wears jeans skirt to bed, claiming that she is tired anytime I touch her.
“She does not know how to take care of the house, her man and the kids,” he said.
Mrs Opeyemi Olanrewaju, the court Deputy President said that Lukman was behaving life a typical African man who “sees women as sex object that he could use and dump.
“You have been with other women and you are comparing her with them, before and after you married her, she gave you two kids there was nothing wrong with her.
“Now she is no longer good for you,” she said.
The court President, Mr Awos Awosola said that the husband should pay N220,000, as the arrears of the money for the upkeep of the children on or before Dec. 20.
He ordered him not to visit the house again and that the children should be brought to the court whenever he wants to see them.
He urged both parties to maintain peace and adjourned the case to December 28 for further hearing.