Yoruba culture is not static. At the same time, every generation tries to preserve aspects of the indigenous tradition.
This effort is counterbalanced by the pragmatic desire of the Yoruba
to appropriate change in the garb of tradition.
The dialectical relationship between the unchanging aspects of Yoruba
culture and the dynamics of change are fueled by two sources of human
interaction.
The first source of change pertains to the new conflicts in human
interaction that cannot be explained by Yoruba tradition.
The second is the permanent effect of contact with Christianity, Islam and the West, expressed in such institutions as law, marriage, religion, education,
and public health services.
Yoruba marriage forms have been influenced by Christian and Muslim
marriage practices in all the three phases even as the steps to Yoruba
marriage project a decidedly traditional outer form.
Thes were the submissions of the Alaafin and the Titan of Yorubaland, His Imperial Majesty , Oba Engineer Abimbola Akeem Owoade 1, at the holy matrimony of Brenda Bolanle Adeleke and Diamond Ademola Orabiyi which was held in Lagos on Friday .
Interestingly two weddings were conducted (traditional and white) for the bride and the groom on Thursday and Friday respectfully.
According to the Alaafin, in marriages within contemporary Yoruba society, the modernized Yoruba cling tenaciously to this outer form as a proof of loyalty to
the original culture.
The family, he said, is the most sacred and significant institution to
the Yoruba, who are child-centered, ruled by the elderly, and
controlled by adults.
‘’The family is an effective unit of political control, religious
affiliation, resource allocation, and assurance of safety. It is also
the most effective agent of socialization. The family teaches the
first lessons in discipline, personal gratitude, and affection. The
family is where young people are exposed to their first preferences
and prejudices.
“In the family, the lessons in honour and shame are
learned, just as are the first lessons in dissembling to avoid the
truth that may injure the well-being of the community””.
More poignantly, Oba Owoade submitted that it is in and through the
copious lessons in religious symbolism learned in the family that one
comes to understand the cyclical and connected way of life in the here
and now, the future, and the hereafter.
“Many Yoruba proverbs reiterate the view that the dead gave birth to
the living, and the living ought to give birth to and nurture the
children who represent the future. The Yoruba further cloak these
sentiments in the garb of religious obligation by insisting on a
notion of after life whose reward is the opportunity for those elders
who died well or properly to come and visit their progeny on earth””.
He continued, “they attach their soul to the two other souls of the
child to be born. Eleda, the first soul, is every individual’s share
in divine essence. The ori is that which is unique, or that which
distinguishes one from any other person. In and through the child that
is born, the dead are reincarnated to temporarily be with and bless
the living. The sociological significance of this notion of birth and
rebirth lies in its usefulness as a social welfare policy”.
‘’It ensures that children are wanted, nurtured, and brought up to be
fine examples of what the Yoruba call Omoluwabi—the well-bred child’’.
The paramount ruler hinted that “”if a parent believes a son or daughter
is a reincarnation of the parent’s mother or father, the parent will
not abandon the child as it was being witnessed today””.
The Alaafin further explained that “”Marriage for the Yoruba man or woman is a necessity. For a man or a woman who has reached the age of marriage to remain single is against the mores of the Yoruba. Men get married even when they are sexually impotent in order to save either their faces or the faces of their
immediate relatives, as well as to get one to look after their domestic establishment. There are a few cases of confirmed bachelors; men, who have reached middle age without getting married even though
they are in position to do so. Ideally marriage should establish the foundation of the family.
“” When it does, marriage is a union not only of the two
spouses, but the two extended families to which they belong. Marriage
itself is the proof that both spouses are good products and
ambassadors of their families. By successfully going through the
demanding steps to the Yoruba marriage, the spouses are a good
reflection on the quality of character of their families””.
“” They have shown restraint as people who are well brought up,
focused, enduring, reliable, disciplined, and people who are able to
defer gratification until they are ready for the responsibilities of
adulthood. As the Yoruba say, “It is easy to get married; what is
difficult is to provide daily food for the family” (Ati gbeyawo,
kekere; owo obe lo soro). In other words, the ability to satisfy the hierarchy of human needs as critical to the Yoruba evaluation of the spouses’ readiness to be
united in marriage.
While praying long life, good health and lasting relationship for the newly wedded couples and their families, Oba Owoade advised the couples to have the level of commitment and patience needed between themselves , so as to be able to inculcate sense of belonging and self-esteem in their awaiting children.
“” The test of the level to which one has internalized a sense of
belonging and self-esteem, he said , is manifest in the desire to excel and find
self-fulfillment in the service of the family.
In their separate response, the families of the former and the first civilian Governor of Osun State, late and Mrs Adetunji Adeleke who are the bride and the families of the groom, Reverend and Mrs Orabiyi, while thanking God Almighty for making the weddings a reality, appreciated the Alaafin and his Queen Consort, Ayaba Abiwunmi for housing their invitation to grace the occasion..
At the colourful and well attended weddings ceremony were the celebrants, Dr. Adedeji Tajudeen Adeleke, a Nigerian billionaire businessman. The founder and President of Adeleke University, is a business magnate, President of Adeleke University and the Chief Executive Officer of Pacific Holdings Limited, which is building a large power plant in Nigeria, the father of David Adedeji Adeleke, aka Davido, a recipient of National award, OON, and a Nigerian-American popular singer, songwriter and record producer, His Excellency, Ademola Nurudeen Jackson Adeleke, a former Senator and currently the Governor of Osun State, a brother to Davido’s father, as well as the late first civilian of Governor of Osun State, Adetunji Adeleke, also a brother to Davido’s father.
Others included, eminent personalities, captains of industry, top government functionaries and notable politicians.
